K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
