bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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