I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
