i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
