My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
