if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize