I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
