Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
