Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
