it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
