how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
