If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
