You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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