What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
