Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
