Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
