I want to stick my p in your. b.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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