I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
