In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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