Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
