Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
