You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
