I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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