have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
