finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
