You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
