Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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