i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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