she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
