i was born a porn star she said
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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