anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
