its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
