I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
