i think my tv is drunk
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
