oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
