Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
