9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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