i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
