How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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