So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
