I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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