Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
