my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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