Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
