The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
