the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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