I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
