You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
