If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
