Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my shit smells like andre
two words: eviction party
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
