if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
