Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
