did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
