True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
