I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
