do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
