True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
