Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
