I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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