Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
