you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think a kid would responsible me up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
