she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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