i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
