Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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