Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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