Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you would pick up someone in the library
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
